I think I was born with some disorder that eats my shame. For some reason I never think about how something will affect my character or how people will perceive me before I do it, and sometimes, I really wish I could change that.
Example. In my Italian Class, we began scripting our final exam, a compendium of short skits. For one of the skits, we are performing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce, in Italian. I immediately signed up to be Beyonce. Why? My original thought was "haha, I would love to learn the single ladies dance!" Now, looking back on it, I still have no problem playing Beyonce, but I have a gut feeling that, well, I SHOULD have a problem, and some emotion I'm lacking just won't kick in.
Example. I wore a bowler cap to Waiting for Godot today because of the cap's significance to the play. While my teachers, peers, and strangers gave me strange looks and commented on how "weird" I was being, I took no offense and continued on without taking that hat off. Should I have had some semblance of shame and just taken the hat off so as to not look stupid? I don't know.
So if any of my loyal three readers have any input on how to deal with this issue or whether I actually need shame, please tell.
Because I seem to relish in being ridiculous.
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2 comments:
Ryan, dear.
I'm pretty sure everyone who knows you relishes in your being ridiculous. It's part of your charm, to say the least. And I think, at least in situations like the ones you've mentioned, it's better not to be ashamed. That sort of shame just slows people down and inhibits them from doing what they really want to do, and what could be potentially awesome for them. If you didn't feel shame after doing something immoral, that might be different, but this is just a lack of embarrassment and self-consciousness. Do you realize how much time and effort people put towards liberating themselves from embarrassment and self-consciousness? I think you should feel lucky not to have that hurdle to jump.
Well said. I agree with Coral. :)
-Adriana
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