Bubble Spinner

I sit for hours playing this god forsaken game. Gov reading? Nah, bubble spinner. Art project? Nah, bubble spinner. Physics? Angle of incidence = angle of reflection (really useful in a riveting game of bubble spinner...)
I need this computer to please crash.

I am the craigslist killer.

I am the Unabomber.
I am the Zodiac.
I am Charles Manson.
I am a Somalian Pirate.
I am Adolf Hitler.
I am Ahmedinejad.
I am Scott Peterson.
I am Goliath.
I am Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
I am Cho Seung-Hui.
I am The Enola Gay.
I am Al Capone.
I am Jack Kevorkian.
I am Ted Bundy.
I am Edmund Emil Kemper.

and I am Man.

We have the sweatpants and we're voting yes!

CC '13

It's so much better than being undecided :)

The -itis

So I just got back from UChicago. It was amazing, great time, food poisoning, etc, but that wasn't the highlight of my trip.
After my dad picked me up from the school he took me to Jesse Jackson's office in Chicago. Waiting for us was Rev.'s second hand man (Rev. Greg) and his assistant (Dexter). They took us to a soul food restaurant in Austin and we all ate fried chicken and collard greens. All good.
Then, I finished eating and laid back in my chair. Greg, a 60 year old civil rights activist, Harvard educated lawyer and very close friend of Jesse Jackson turns to me and says,
"What's the matter, doc? You got niggeritis?"

Mull that over in your head.

Watch as I outsmart the system.

I made this up.
"Today, I out of curiosity I asked my mother how we would be paying for college. She said "don't worry, we have it all invested with a very nice man... I think his name is Madoff. I am now going to community college. FML"
I'm gonna be a web celebrity.

The good life

There is nothing like a pitcher of sweet tea sitting in your fridge. It's more reassuring than a security blanket, it's more comforting than a couch, it's more delicious than any other beverage.
Things get shitty? Sweet tea.
Too much work? Sweet tea.
Thirsty? Sweet tea.
Unhappy? Sweet tea.
Tired? Sweet tea.
Hyper? Sweet tea.

Never doubt the power of four bags of lipton, a gallon of water and a cup of sugar. It's mystical.

This is lols.

ARRRGHH

I haven't chosen where I'm going to school yet but this article here puts a lot in Chicago's favor. I want to take this course so badly, it's not even funny. I hope it fits the core :)

One more thing. I beat Portal again today, and I was distraught as usual. It takes me like, 20 minutes to put the WCC into the incinerator. Seriously, I am pathetic. So miserable was I that I took one of my two Rubik's cubes, took off all the labels and did this to it.

And yes, that IS my airzooka in the background.

FMyLife

I saw a status on facebook which read as follows:
"Went to bed early, woke up early...FML"

First of all, what's so bad about waking up early? Secondly, how bad could your life possibly be if you get the chance to go to sleep so early? I wish I was as privileged. Finally, the time you wake up is nowhere near severe enough to warrant a "FML."
I liked that website a few months ago when it was novel; now all I ever see is "FML! FML!" "Just ate a bagel. FML." "School today, FML." "Won the Nobel Peace Prize. FML." Seriously? I want to start a mass mailing with this message:

Dear suburban teenager,
As you sit micromanaging your home business with your pink Blackberry in the backseat of mommy's Range Rover beside your gucci bag, carrying a second Blackberry should you decide to throw the first at your eigthieth ex-boyfriend, please take the time to consider this.
Your life is not "f***ed"
There are people worse off than you
Embarassing situations will not condemn your entire life
The stories on FMyLife.com are far more interesting than yours
And those stories are all made up.
So while you update your status for the three hundredth time today, remember that "Sitting in car" does not warrant an FML.
Unless you want to say "Got chlamydia, FML." That would be funny as hell and you deserve it for being annoying.
Sincerely,
Everyone else.

So send this message to all your friends because seriously,, unimportant things are not made funny with that stupid three letter addendum.

Bliggog

The integral bureaucracy
Come va-dx/dt
Gilgamesh je' micron pens.
Inflation e diffraction lens,
And still I mu-nought adverb, noun
Approaches at speed "spell renown."
So Euler nella selva oscura
Through field B, Siddhartha Buddha
A scholarship! Should I ap-pi?
3.14 through the Rye,
I think I got divide sketch grandma.
g(x) is f times lambda.
I thought this year'd make me think straight
But minced brain does eight APs make.

How do I feel today?

"When Ghetto Tech plays, it's as if the Heavens themselves are speaking. Ghetto Tech will be the natural law of the New World Order. God himself will come down, declare his kingdom on earth, and inscribe on two tablets for all the hoes to shake their multitudes of titties. And it will be good. To the farthest reaches of the earth Ghetto Tech will permeate, and teach us all about harmony, life, love, and slapping dicks against the mouths of many bitches. Oh yes. So it is written, so it will be done. Amen."*
*http://techno.org/electronic-music-guide/
DJ Assault- Ass 'n' Titties

As U approach U of C...

But it's okay, since Paul is going to take me under his wing at Northwestern and show me where the biddies truly are. PS, it pains me not to put the dx in there, but it just wouldn't look as funny.
And no, I didn't make this up myself, but I did spend two minutes in MS Paint making it.

Leyendecker

This song was the background of a nightmare I had last night.
It was a scary fucking nightmare...
And this is a scary fucking song.
Battles- Leyendecker

Woo!

Stanford Early Action- Rejected
Saint Johns- Accepted without applying, then unaccepted (what?)
Stony Brook Honors- Accepted
Tulane Honors- Accepted
Caltech- Waitlisted (place on the waitlist turned down)
Duke- Accepted (+ likely letter!)
MIT- Rejected
University of Chicago- Accepted
Yale- Rejected
Princeton- Rejected
Harvard- Waitlisted (currently on the waitlist)
Columbia- Accepted

Final count, 5-4-2
Respectable if you ask me, but I'm no 6'6" half black, half asian supergenius like Jamison :p

Anyway, now I've got three US News number eights to choose from and I think Chicago might be the answer. Hip hip, hooray!