Saturday, December 18, 2010

Lunch

Here's a really fun game I learned back when I was first visiting colleges. It's called:

PUT STUFF IN RAMEN UNTIL IT TASTES GOOD

Step 1: Open up cup noodles
Step 2: Wash off the chicken stock and frozen vegetables
Step 3: Add boiling water and stir.
Step 4: Drain water when ramen is of edible consistency.
Step 5: Look into cabinet and refrigerator for stuff that might taste good. Scratch your head.
Step 6: Put stuff in ramen until it tastes good.
Step 7: Eat!
Step 8: If it tastes good, you win!

Winning combinations:
Ramen, mustard, hot sauce, tuna, salt, pepper
Ramen, vegetable broth, over easy egg
Ramen, olive oil, garlic powder, butter
Ramen, ragu
Eating it the way you're supposed to

Friday, December 10, 2010

The US is alright

I mean the government is horrible and so is its citizens and infrastructure and everything about it, but i mean on the whole it's an alright place to be.

THE US SUCKS

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Nothing to say but saying a lot

Does anyone else feel like they've been eaten by their computer? My mind seems to be melting out of my ears. I think in 140 character status updates. I study in 20 minute intervals padded with 2 hour facebook sessions. I don't know if what I'm like on the computer is what I'm like in real life. I really enjoy staring blankly at nothing important. I get angry at things that don't affect me. I really like knit sweaters. If I had a role model, I would say it was Matt Schantz. I rarely focus on particulars; solely on the wider scope. Some people like things about me that I don't like about me. I would rather do nothing than something most of the time. If I put too much thought into something, I start to feel like it isn't worth thinking about anymore. I'm afraid you're going to read this and think I'm going insane. Sometimes I think I'm going insane but I'm probably not. Chances are you're going to read this and not think anything at all. Chances are higher that you aren't going to read this.

I fucking hate midterms

Thursday, September 2, 2010

WHAT THE FUCK

I just had a dream so vivid and so real seeming that now that I'm awake, I'm highly skeptical as to what is real and what is not.

The dream starts the night after I got back from COOP. We're all together sleeping over in some room in my Long Island house, and I dream that I really had to go to the bathroom and peed on the floor, while a bunch of busts of me dressed in cowboy attire that were alive looked on and discussed with me. I wake up the next morning with the same group of people and sigh with relief that this was only a dream. However, it turns out the dream I had just had was also had by everyone else, and soon I was outcast for having had that dream (somehow I covered everyone in pee.) I got really heated over the whole thing because people kept bringing it up. The rest of the time after this, it is completely ambiguous as to whether this part was a dream or real. We then went straight to a bar, because apparently we were pregaming for a formal with spaghetti and beer in plastic mugs at 5 in the morning (the sun does not come up the entire dream). My sister shows up and it turns out that what is a fried chicken restaurant (where we are eating) is also a chinese restaurant that serves rubbery blue hippo heads flavored like pop tarts. I shuffle between her table and mine, each time the pile of food on my table is higher and changes slightly, the room slowly changes to look like a residence hall lounge, and each time I question whether or not I could be dreaming and decided that it's impossible. I test this by pinching myself, which I feel. Also, some foreboding reports of the chance of cops breaking up this underaged beer drinking fest and of some organization trying to destroy the world through acts that seem like environmentalism (CORE was their name, which stood for something something Hydrogen Enrichment [the R stood for Hydrogen]) but are actually deadly. I have a really loud argument with someone based on the dream and suddenly a CORE agent gets very suspicious of me. The police chief comes in and instead of breaking up the gathering, brings up my "incident" of prior. My grandmother walks in to make fun of me for wearing a hat to the police chief, who has become the waiter at the restaurant. My brother then walks in, high fives me and walks on. Overwhelmed and terrified by the amount of strange occurrences, I leave the restaurant which has become my dorm room. I decide it would be best to walk to the formal. I feel my face, slap my arm, and look around some more, and ultimately decide that as weird as everything is, I was experiencing that moment so vividly that it had to be real. I started walking, and one of my friends came to walk with me, consoling me part of the way, when a homeless man we walked passed turns into a CORE agent, whips out two shotguns, and chases us as I hum "In Da Club" by 50Cent in order to keep my wits about me. Realizing I must have been dreaming the whole time after the weird occurrences, I stop running and wake up in the passenger seat of a moving car on the same street. Everything seems fine, until another CORE agent runs in front of the car to stop us. He pulls out two guns and the brakes of the car are slammed by the driver. I fly out of the windshield, float in the air, take the scene in. I realize, finally, that everything after the dream in my house, must have been a dream, and I wake up in the reality I'm in now and type this blog post.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Song Conspicously About Fellatio

Blowin' in the wind.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Chill with this wave

Chillwave is pretty good until you realize that you can make the same thing with a bunch of 80s Cassettes and some freeware.

Presenting:


Both by Ryan Mandelbaum. Get 'em, Hit 'em.