Germany 1

If you didn't know, I'm in Germany for the week volunteering at the Max Plank Institut fur Kernphysik in Heidelberg. I've been here for a few days, I've seen some sights, made some observations, etc. Here's what I've got.

Observation 1.
Every German knows English. EVERY ONE. I walked through the main tourist part of Haupstraße. As I approached the store keepers I said my Gut Morgen and my Allos and was greeted with a "fägßßjsekfnsßgeüugfliägge!" To which I responded "heh, uh, english!" and was greeted with the most beautiful of English accents without a single w switched with v or whatever. I thought "heh, must be a tourist thing!" but no, I also went to a regular old supermarket and the man behind the counter, who didn't look nearly as refined, understood quite clearly that I needed to pay for my beer on a separate tab because Columbia would only reimburse me for essential items.

Observation 2.
For some reason, a massive amount of people in Germany (comparatively) are missing limbs. Okay, in America, maybe once in a blue moon you'll see someone with a prosthetic. In one hour, I saw four women who were missing one or both hands and a fifth who had her wrist in her pocket, but with no visible bulge where a hand would be.

Observation 3.
Germans are serious about their ß's. REALLY serious. Wherever there are two s's in a row, you will see a ß whether it is a German word or not. Heck, I'm surprised the SS didn't just call themselves the ß. My proof? Take the name Gauss. I am working in the physics lab here and if you didn't know, magnets are measured in Gauss, or as they call them here, Gauß. Maybe I'm just being an aßhole, but as an American, It's hard for me to not to be when I myself feel more like an abhole.

Observation 4.
German women are either young, gorgeous and skinny or old, hideous and obese. There is no in between.

Observation 5.
Every American tourist wants a Bierstein. Every German storekeeper wants to sell them a Bierstein. When you walk into a store, they will ask you if you have seen their collection of biersteins. As an American tourist, you will oblige. You will buy one. No exceptions.

So that's what I've noticed in my first day at Heidelberg. The stuff that will be more of interest to my parents and family and closest friends is to follow.

Otherstuff
I am currently sitting in the main lab, about to start hour 4 of my 12 hour night shift. My title is Kernphysiker/Wissenschaftliche Mitarbeiterin at the institute, and the machine I've been working with is a combination particle accelerator/ Test Storage Ring in the hills above Heidelberg. Basically, the particle accelerator takes an element from a foil (We are currently using Gold, but hope to be using Titanium by the end of the week) and passes the element through a Van der Graaf Generator with the hopes of stripping as many electrons as possible from the ion. The storage ring maintains a beam of this ion for as long as possible to measure its lifetime and its velocity. Then, a beam of ultra-cool electrons is lined up with the Titanium. We can measure many things, and what my group hopes to measure is the autoionization and dielectronic recombination rates of the ions. Basically, when the electron beam lines up with the Titanium beam, the titanium ions will pull in electrons into their outermost levels. When this happens, there is a probability that the Titanium will spit the electron out (autoionization) or accept the electron and emit a photon (dielectronic recombination). If the titanium has accepted the electron, it will become a little less positive than the rest of the beam and will bend in one direction. If the titanium has rejected the electron, it will be a little less energetic than the rest of the beam and will bend the other direction. Or something like that.

Today, I went to the Heidelberg Castle, one of the landmarks os the city. It was pretty awesome- it has the worlds largest wine barrel in the basement (55,000 gallons) and all sorts of silly things. Next to the barrel is a statue of "Perkeo," the court jester, who was an italian dwarf who got his name because whenever he was offered wine, he would shout "Perche, no?" (why not?) and chug the glass. He died when he was 80something when he was given water instead of wine (The water was so dirty that most people died when they drank it). Other things- apparently codpieces were used to hold armor up (They were empty) but it became fashionable to have a large codpiece. King Richard III of England is said to have filled his codpiece with "Sweets for the ladies" (badum tss).

I also walked around Haupstraße, the main street, where I basically just bought souvenirs. I walked up to a group of American tourists to see if I could tag along (at this point I had no idea what there was to do in Heidelberg, all I had was a map [I have since purchased a travel guide]) But was greeted with an "of course not, they paid for this!" All of the kids were weird looking anyway. Some misshapen, brace-faced middle school girl winked at me and I realized it was probably better off.

That's about it for today. Some quick notes about my visit-
I had beer and pizza for breakfast both days
Mustard comes in a tube
I need to buy a new travel power adapter
New German architecture is hideous as the Germans invented modernism
German postmodern is even worse
Platz means place, not explode
Fahrt means ride, not fart
Einbahnstraße is not the name of a street
It just means "one way street"
All Germans apologize when you say you're jewish
If they don't they're Nazis.

That's about it. Auf Wiedersehen!