Dads in Music: An brief analysis

Dad: Mr. McLusky
Ballad: "To Hell with Good Intentions"
Rad: He's much bigger than your dad and can assuredly beat him up. Plus, he's got eight cars and a house in Ireland.
Bad: The house in Ireland is pretty much a wooden shack. Plus, he's constantly disappointed in his children, given that they do more drugs than a touring funk band.

Dad: Mr. Deacon
Ballad: "Snake Mistakes"
Rad: He's the coolest dad in Dad School High, and does not break any Dad Rules. Plus, he can pick li'l Dan up if he ever asked him to.
Bad: He's got a car while he's still in Dad School and he limits his pick-up behavior to Dan Deacon? That's a real "snake mistake," if you know what I mean.

Dad: Mr. Man in the Moon
Ballad: "Cat's in the Cradle"
Rad: Raised Little Boy Blue to be exactly like him. That shows some strong and effective parental influence. Plus, he's got his cat's in cradles with silver spoons; that bastard must be loaded!
Bad: Raised Little Boy Blue to be exactly like him. Turns out the Man in the Moon was a workaholic and a neglectful dick. Plus, who can live well knowing that they became their parents?

Dad: Mr. Daddy
Ballad: "What Would You Do"
Rad: Spends some time out of prison. To his credit, his baby's momma is also not the only person in the world with a baby.
Bad: Unreliable, could either be smoking rock or going back to prison at this very moment. One way or another, he's not caring for his hungry child.

Dad: Mr. Lonni
Ballad: Also "What Would You Do"
Rad: Raised agile daughters.
Bad: Foiled by his sole point of radness, his daughters were able to swiftly escape him before he could rape them.

Dad: Mr. O'Blivion
Ballad: "Father O'Blivion"
Rad: Excellent chef and pastor, inordinately gigantic penis.
Bad: Very clumsy, believes leprechauns exist in Alaska. Clearly, they only live in Mobile, Alabama.

Dad: Mr. Christmas
Ballad: "Father Christmas"
Rad: Is Santa Clause, makes the whole world happier by dispensing joy and silly toys.
Bad: Is easily intimidated by destitute Brits

Dad: Mr. Twin
Ballad: "Come to Daddy"
Rad: Is very fertile.
Bad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH