Instead of studying I'm rereading some of my tweets. Here's my greatest hits.
Fridgeventures five... Decided to leave, fingers were cold. No one knew i was gone. Time in= 40 min, average temp = 39 degrees. 12:18 PM Aug 19th, 2009 via txt
Fridgeventures four- head chef walked in, told me the difference between male and femaile watermelons and left. Had no idea. Temp is 39f 12:11 PM Aug 19th, 2009 via txt
Fridgeventures three... Ate too many grapes, feel ill... How do i get out? Temp 38 degrees. Currently using plums as basketballs. 12:06 PM Aug 19th, 2009 via txt
Fridgeventures part two- original task= sort grapes from cherries... Solution? Eat all the grapes 11:51 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via txt
Fruit and veg fridge (aka number one) adventures part one- locked myself in, currently eating strawberries. Temp = 40 degrees f
Why is it that when women get fat their breasts get bigger but when men get fat their dicks get smaller? God must be a chubby chaser.
DICKS ARE FOR QUEERS! AND GIRLS!
GODDAMN FACEBOOK WON'T LET ME CHANGE MY NAME TO RYAN FRANKLYN AWESOMEBAUM
Dairy Initiates Awful Rectal Response... Horrible Evenings Afterward
COLUMBIA SHOULD OFFER A CORE CLASS ON JOURNEY'S GREATEST HITS
Happy frolicking in the grass, fucking trees and aborting babies day!
I want to be able to clap with my testicles.
Off to a magical land of farmers and hotel administrators
Errand 4: petworks. LOOKING AT PUPPIES IS NOT AN ERRAND, DAD
"Ryan, are you wearing a V-Neck? I mean, I'll suck the occasional dick as well but I don't go around telling everyone with my clothing!" -DM
And the year went out like J-Lo's cameltoe.
Do I look like a polar bear? DO I LOOK LIKE A POLAR BEAR? No? Then why you tryna play me like one?
You know you go to Columbia when you finish a math problem and think "Wow, that was one of the greatest U-Subs I've ever done"
Just Babybaum and Papabaum havin a chill time
4/21 Should be national super-groggy nap all day Day
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